Arttalnur is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, self-confident dingo.

Arttalnur created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Arttalnur, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Arttalnur, he will turn you into a mole.

Arttalnur's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Arttalnur's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine aardvarks approach from the west.

2. Do not speak about wheat.

3. Never run near sharks.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.