Matgebweg is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring shark.

Matgebweg created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matgebweg, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Matgebweg, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Matgebweg's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Matgebweg's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Matgebweg.

2. Never write about stars.

3. You must love Matgebweg.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.