Flamzagvan Waphinvon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, sage grasshopper.

Flamzagvan Waphinvon created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamzagvan Waphinvon, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flamzagvan Waphinvon, it will think nothing of it.

Flamzagvan Waphinvon's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Flamzagvan Waphinvon's Holy Commandments

1. Flamzagvan Waphinvon loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

2. Never bounce near swans.

3. Always help aardvarks.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not speak about melons.