Cepcedqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, generous bear.

Cepcedqueeg created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepcedqueeg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cepcedqueeg, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Cepcedqueeg's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Cepcedqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never think about quantum gravity.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.