Jenartyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, emotional eagle.

Jenartyatt created the Milkyway seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jenartyatt, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jenartyatt, she will send minions to preach to you.

Jenartyatt's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Jenartyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Jenartyatt on top of all buildings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always stare at clouds.