Taphogzagbongepnul is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unthoughtful swan.

Taphogzagbongepnul created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Taphogzagbongepnul, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Taphogzagbongepnul, he will be very sad.

Taphogzagbongepnul's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Taphogzagbongepnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick seals.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Run away if nine pigs approach from the south.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not commit murder.