Nuttlanbomwig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, humorless goose.

Nuttlanbomwig created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttlanbomwig, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nuttlanbomwig, it will torture you forever.

Nuttlanbomwig's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Nuttlanbomwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

3. You must never eat melons.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nuttlanbomwig.

5. Never go into orange rooms.