Cabvegvid is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless narwhal.

Cabvegvid created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabvegvid, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cabvegvid, it will turn you into a sheep.

Cabvegvid's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Cabvegvid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never carve symbols of galaxies into wood.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never look at planets.