Vonkdidstig Metbentof is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, fast octopus.

Vonkdidstig Metbentof created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkdidstig Metbentof, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonkdidstig Metbentof, she will not invite you to parties.

Vonkdidstig Metbentof's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Vonkdidstig Metbentof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always help snails in need.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not laugh in public.