Padmetstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, prudent wren.

Padmetstaf created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padmetstaf, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Padmetstaf, it will boil you in a big pot.

Padmetstaf's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Padmetstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about spacetime near mites while wearing mauve jumpers.

3. Never paint your chest gray.

4. Feed all hungry dogs.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.