Ditfigcun is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful jaguar.

Ditfigcun created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditfigcun, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ditfigcun, he will turn you into a snail.

Ditfigcun's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Ditfigcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt badgers.

2. Run away from yellow horses, for they are unholy.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.