Loprutkik Mathigpang is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, strong gnu.

Loprutkik Mathigpang created the Sol system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loprutkik Mathigpang, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Loprutkik Mathigpang, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Loprutkik Mathigpang's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Loprutkik Mathigpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve trousers.

2. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Loprutkik Mathigpang in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never feed lots of cucumbers to voles while wearing purple corsets.

4. Do not dye your hair indigo.

5. Never think about gravity.