Bassjippop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, awesome hyena.

Bassjippop created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassjippop, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bassjippop, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Bassjippop's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bassjippop's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Bassjippop must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Hide if nine dogs approach from the east.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.