Tigtonkfid is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, sage cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tigtonkfid created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigtonkfid, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tigtonkfid, it will jump up and down on your head.

Tigtonkfid's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tigtonkfid's Holy Commandments

1. Tigtonkfid loves ants, so they must be honoured.

2. Never talk about turtles.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Do not dye your hair indigo.

5. Never mention dogs.