Buspadkad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical walrus.

Buspadkad created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Buspadkad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Buspadkad, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Buspadkad's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Buspadkad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Buspadkad in the centre of the settlement.

2. You must pray to Buspadkad three times a day.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.