Vedzedhub is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, merciless jackal.

Vedzedhub created the cosmos eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vedzedhub, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vedzedhub, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vedzedhub's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vedzedhub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never feed corn to goats while wearing skirts.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not keep six doves in a large pit.