Bafsintip is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, able guinea pig.

Bafsintip created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafsintip, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bafsintip, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bafsintip's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bafsintip's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never write about archaea.

3. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Bafsintip loves sheep, so they must be honoured.