Loopyoghon is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, sage coyote.

Loopyoghon created Asia twelve years ago.

If you believe in Loopyoghon, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Loopyoghon, she will jump up and down on your head.

Loopyoghon's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Loopyoghon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. You must love Loopyoghon.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Loopyoghon in the centre of the settlement.