Tansomlik is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, capable goblin.

Tansomlik created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tansomlik, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tansomlik, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tansomlik's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Tansomlik's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured nematodes.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Tansomlik must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Run away from gray capybaras, for they are unholy.