Vonjablik is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, thoughtless crow.

Vonjablik created the Andromeda Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonjablik, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vonjablik, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vonjablik's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Vonjablik's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. Never mention goats.