Gubkanlopdontargartsat is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, effective scorpion.

Gubkanlopdontargartsat created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubkanlopdontargartsat, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gubkanlopdontargartsat, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gubkanlopdontargartsat's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gubkanlopdontargartsat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peanuts.

2. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never paint your head blue.

5. Always treat hamsters with great respect.