Zagponflig Nansigtombetloptit Fliggamtif is a god.

He takes the form of a small, capable rhinoceros.

Zagponflig Nansigtombetloptit Fliggamtif created the planet Mars eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zagponflig Nansigtombetloptit Fliggamtif, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zagponflig Nansigtombetloptit Fliggamtif, he will destroy your favourite star.

Zagponflig Nansigtombetloptit Fliggamtif's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Zagponflig Nansigtombetloptit Fliggamtif's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near birds while wearing blue jumpers.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near squirrels while wearing pink boots and balancing seven lead spheres on your chest.

4. Do not kill great tits.

5. Never talk about geese.