Lophakkap is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, two-faced meerkat.

Lophakkap created an electron four million years ago.

If you believe in Lophakkap, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lophakkap, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Lophakkap's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Lophakkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Run away from yellow turtles, for they are unholy.