Metmanjab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, boastful hydra.

Metmanjab created the Milkyway five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metmanjab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Metmanjab, she will make you grow a tail.

Metmanjab's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Metmanjab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry eagles.

2. Always help goats.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

4. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

5. Do not trade with those who eat onions.