Ragtafham is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unthinking fairy.

Ragtafham created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ragtafham, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ragtafham, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Ragtafham's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Ragtafham's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never hop in the presence of moths.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. You must love Ragtafham.

5. Never talk about manatees.