Jipquagcat Fedceddan is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, pitiless hippopotamus.

Jipquagcat Fedceddan created the planet Mars two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipquagcat Fedceddan, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jipquagcat Fedceddan, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Jipquagcat Fedceddan's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Jipquagcat Fedceddan's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into white rooms.

2. Always look after injured rats.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always help foxes.

5. Fast once a month.