Yikyarpnart is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, stupid turtle.

Yikyarpnart created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikyarpnart, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yikyarpnart, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Yikyarpnart's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Yikyarpnart's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers in need.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Hide if four seals approach from the south.

4. Never feed melons to gulls while wearing mauve jumpers.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near nematodes while wearing brown stockings and balancing six gold spheres on your head.