Fatdotaf is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy snail.

Fatdotaf created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatdotaf, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fatdotaf, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fatdotaf's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Fatdotaf's Holy Commandments

1. Fatdotaf loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

2. You must pray to Fatdotaf six times a day.

3. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.