Fonfunwap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, conceited gerbil.

Fonfunwap created carbon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonfunwap, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fonfunwap, it will make you grow a tail.

Fonfunwap's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fonfunwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not keep three foxes in a large pit.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.