Tonyak is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonourable ferret.

Tonyak created a photon two million years ago.

If you believe in Tonyak, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tonyak, she will laugh at you.

Tonyak's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Tonyak's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight squirrels approach from the north.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never pour water over plants.