Talpodqueegsit is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, narcissistic fox.

Talpodqueegsit created the world six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talpodqueegsit, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Talpodqueegsit, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Talpodqueegsit's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Talpodqueegsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in holy places.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Run away if five grasshopers approach from the south.

5. Do not speak about garlic.