Dagstanpib is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unfair horse.

Dagstanpib created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagstanpib, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dagstanpib, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Dagstanpib's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Dagstanpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not covet oxen.