Vogbenlat is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, selfish zebra.

Vogbenlat created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogbenlat, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vogbenlat, she will turn you into a puffin.

Vogbenlat's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Vogbenlat's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Always help grasshopers.

5. Always pray immersed in water.