Ruttpitpag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, stupid cobra.

Ruttpitpag created matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttpitpag, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ruttpitpag, it will turn you into a sheep.

Ruttpitpag's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Ruttpitpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Ruttpitpag loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Ruttpitpag must be the most important thing in your life.