Fumgupwot is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, moody swan.

Fumgupwot created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumgupwot, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Fumgupwot, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fumgupwot's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Fumgupwot's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fumgupwot.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. You must never eat cherries.

5. Never eat green fruit.