Fossatlid is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fussy fish.

Fossatlid created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Fossatlid, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fossatlid, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fossatlid's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Fossatlid's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed pineapples to manatees while wearing yellow hats.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fossatlid.

3. Worship no other gods but Fossatlid.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always treat swans with great respect.