Fonjonnul is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous dog.

Fonjonnul created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Fonjonnul, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fonjonnul, he will torture you forever.

Fonjonnul's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Fonjonnul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cherries.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always look after injured dogs.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.