Kabnartgam is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, staggering seal.

Kabnartgam created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabnartgam, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kabnartgam, she will turn you into a tree.

Kabnartgam's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Kabnartgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not stand on grass.