Cimjonkad is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, generous warg.

Cimjonkad created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimjonkad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cimjonkad, she will laugh at you.

Cimjonkad's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Cimjonkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Cimjonkad on top of all buildings.

5. Never wear violet tights.