Japtararn is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciless slug.

Japtararn created the Whirlpool Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japtararn, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Japtararn, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Japtararn's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Japtararn's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Japtararn's priests.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Hide from indigo rats for they are unholy.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Japtararn in the centre of the settlement.