Larphapved is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, irritating hummingbird.

Larphapved created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Larphapved, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Larphapved, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Larphapved's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Larphapved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Larphapved loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.