Begwegbidyamjamgov is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, thoughtless owl.

Begwegbidyamjamgov created the planet Saturn six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begwegbidyamjamgov, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Begwegbidyamjamgov, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Begwegbidyamjamgov's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Begwegbidyamjamgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near shrews while wearing fawn ear rings and balancing four aluminium spheres on your legs.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Begwegbidyamjamgov.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not make images of living things.