Gudjonwigzen is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, omnipotent crow.

Gudjonwigzen created silver three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gudjonwigzen, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gudjonwigzen, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gudjonwigzen's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Gudjonwigzen's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Worship no other gods but Gudjonwigzen.

5. Always treat ants with great respect.