Larnnel is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, all-powerful goblin.

Larnnel created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnnel, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Larnnel, she will cry a lot.

Larnnel's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Larnnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Retreat if four great tits approach from the north.

3. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.