Zancinpag is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, happy crow.

Zancinpag created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zancinpag, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zancinpag, he will not care at all.

Zancinpag's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Zancinpag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about optics near cats while wearing orange dresses and balancing three zinc spheres on your face.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.