Hotbonkteen is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, fussy pigeon.

Hotbonkteen created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotbonkteen, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hotbonkteen, she will send you a sign.

Hotbonkteen's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Hotbonkteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near swans.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Gulls are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.