Bitteenflam Cimquillfen is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, all-knowing slug.

Bitteenflam Cimquillfen created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitteenflam Cimquillfen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bitteenflam Cimquillfen, it will turn you into a sheep.

Bitteenflam Cimquillfen's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Bitteenflam Cimquillfen's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

4. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

5. Put Bitteenflam Cimquillfen first in all things.