Weggatlopmip is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, duplicitous pigeon.

Weggatlopmip created tapeworms two billion years ago.

If you believe in Weggatlopmip, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Weggatlopmip, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Weggatlopmip's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Weggatlopmip's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never think about gravity near shrews while wearing turquoise corsets and balancing three lead spheres on your chest.

3. Worship no other gods but Weggatlopmip.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.