Flatdodtan is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, temperamental unicorn.

Flatdodtan created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatdodtan, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flatdodtan, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Flatdodtan's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Flatdodtan's Holy Commandments

1. Flatdodtan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Run away from white ducks, for they are unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Erect eight silver sculptures of Flatdodtan on top of important buildings.