Vadgarkam is a god.

It takes the form of a small, dishonourable hyena.

Vadgarkam created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vadgarkam, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vadgarkam, it will send you a sign.

Vadgarkam's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Vadgarkam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine moths approach from the south.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near turtles while wearing yellow hats.

5. Pray towards the west.