Hivbadflis is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking squid.

Hivbadflis created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivbadflis, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hivbadflis, it will destroy your home planet.

Hivbadflis' most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Hivbadflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured geese.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Run away from gray hamsters, for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.