Higvagyar is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, competent mongoose.

Higvagyar created the planet Saturn four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higvagyar, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Higvagyar, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Higvagyar's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Higvagyar's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Higvagyar.

2. You must pray to Higvagyar eight times a day.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Never think about optics near foxes while wearing turquoise shirts and balancing seven zinc spheres on your hands.

5. Never pour water over plants.